I usually write my posts for Circles of Faith a month or so earlier than they come out online. I realized, when re-reading my post, that I had some updates, some learnings, insight from others in a similar experience, some new thoughts on the subject. And so, I call this:
What to Do When Sitting in Darkness, Part 2
So you are sitting there, in the dark, trying to make yourself a little comfortable, as you could be there for a while. You might as well find a comfy couch at least. For a while, it seems really dark, and the darkness might make you feel like you can’t find loved ones, God, or even yourself at times.
But then, you start to make out almost imperceptible shapes- maybe just the outline of that couch you are sitting on. You are reminded that you are supported by that couch,and you become more aware, even thankful for it. Soon, you can see other objects around you- a door, a cabinet, a table, a window even. You thought you were in complete, utter darkness, but you realize there is a bit of light. There is some contrast to the darkness.
Your eyes are adjusting to the darkness.
Slowly, little by little, you begin to see more: people, more defined objects, even color. The darkness seems less dark. You remember a line from a Psalm buried deep within you,“Even the darkness will not be dark to You. The night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to You” (Psalm 139). And you realize that God is there too, and has not left at all. Neither have those people who love you; they have been there too.
Before you know it, you are seeing more than just dark and light contrasts. You are noticing the emerald green leaves and bright pink ornamental ginger, the blue sky, the shining sun. Life feels more vibrant again, you have a deeper capacity to recognize its beauty. Night still comes, but there is the promise of morning. And you are wiser for it.